In today’s episode we’re talking about how to stay emotionally calm and collected when you’re getting feedback from a boss, co-worker or maybe even a family member or friend.

Handling constructive criticism or feedback well is something everyone in business contends with on occasion – whether you’re in a corporate job or you run your own business. 

While it varies, in general most American companies have an annual performance review cycle that runs through the calendar year. 

So, employees set goals at the beginning of the year that outline what we want to do in the year ahead and, when we finish the year, we note our achievements, measure progress against the goals we set, and we’re given a rating based on that. 

Sometimes we’re even stack ranked with our peers, a practice I still don’t think should happen but it’s how many companies differentiate between good and amazing performances in that year. I get why they do it – to award standout performance – but there’s something so inhuman about it. But I digress…because that’s not what we’re here to explore.

So, our boss will then assign a rating to our performance based on whatever system of measurement they use, and the process usually concludes with a meeting with our manager. In that meeting, they’ll give their feedback, usually sharing both strengths and opportunity areas. 

This process varies a bit from company to company. Some have a more frequent and less formal feedback process, and for some it’s annually and very formal. But any way you do it, the experience for most people is the same. Whether you had a challenging year or a great year full of accomplishment, there’s something unsettling about having your performance reviewed.  

Even more, for most, the process is important to our livelihood because the feedback is tied to bonus percentage, maybe merit raise percentage, promotions or whatever. So, we’ve usually got a lot riding on the quality of the rating. And once concluded, both the rating and feedback are entered into a database, so they stay with you for the life of your tenure. 
So, the stakes are high. This isn’t a one or done process. 

As long as you’re with that employer, anyone who manages you will be able see the feedback and the rating. It’s on your ‘permanent record’ so to speak.

And as any business owner will tell you, for them, *every* day is like annual performance review day. Especially in the age of social media. 

Customer’s rate and provide reviews based on their experience with a brand and over time, all those ratings and reviews combine to create a holistic view of that company or brand. And that view can significantly influence the likelihood that other people will either buy or not buy that brand. And once that general customer view is entrenched, it becomes part of their reputation which can be *very* hard to undo.   

And then there’s the internet trolls who’ve never even done business with you but that trash you. Or the live interactions with unhappy customers – whether in person or on Zoom. 
No matter how negative feedback is delivered, anything less than glowing praise is hard to hear. 

Honestly the long-lasting significance of a rating and review is true for a corporate career as well. 

Once you’re “known” or have a reputation for certain things – whether positive or negative – that reputation follows you and becomes a key part of your personal brand.

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