May 23, 2021
Today I want to talk about Why We Quit at Things.
Or maybe more specifically, Why We Quit on Ourselves.
Most of us do this in one way or another. And it’s never a great thing. But for many it becomes a pattern that holds them back.
You know what I mean.
We start the diet determined to head into swimsuit season at our ideal weight. So, we start the diet determined and motivated. And then a few weeks or a month in, we give up.
We decide this is the year to find the ideal job. So, we dive into the job search with gusto, land some interviews and when the rejections start rolling in, we give up.
We start the direct sales business or other side hustle and go all in. At first. But when it gets challenging finding clients or managing the calendar, we decide it’s not meant for us; it’s too hard, so we give up.
And there’s lots more where that came from in every area of our life – with relationships, paying off debt, working out, starting the business, changing career paths.
Too often, we give up.
I wanted to talk about this today because I see it all the time in my practices.
I’ve done it too often in my own life.
The diets I’ve started and stopped.
My passion for writing romantic fiction which I just gave up after finishing a few books.
Even my efforts at getting this business going. I’ve started and stopped many times.
So, are you quitting on anything?
If so, what?
It’s important to remember when we quit something we really want, we’re not just quitting that thing. We’re quitting ourselves.
And that’s why I wanted to talk about this topic today. Your goals and dreams and YOU are too important to quit on. Today we’re going to explore the whys and learn what we can do about it.
So, let’s dive in.
When we set a big goal or have a burning desire to do something, it feels AMAZING.
We see the vision, imagine how amazing it will be to HAVE the new thing.
This DESIRE gives us the motivation and excitement to get going. To START the thing believing that we can HAVE it.
So, we fix our eyes firmly on the horizon and start moving forward.
Then we get into it.
And as we go, the days and months and sometimes years tick by and we start to encounter challenges.
And that’s when a shift starts to happen.
Suddenly we don’t FEEL motivated or excited.
And maybe we can’t even connect with our DESIRE for the thing anymore.
We just know we suddenly feel discouraged.
Because it no longer FEELS good, our discipline or pursuit of the DREAM starts to slip.
After all, who wants to throw all their energy and effort into something that DOESN’T FEEL GOOD?
And if these negative emotions PERSIST, we quit.
For most of us, when we quit, we’re rewarded – at least for a little while – with HUGE feeling of relief.
The discomfort, boredom and feelings of defeat are gone because your life can go back to NORMAL.
We tell ourselves NORMAL is okay. We’re used to it. (Even though our life might not be what we want, it’s what we’re used to and that’s okay).
And because we FEEL better, we tell ourselves it was GOOD that we quit.
That the thing we were pursing wasn’t meant for us anyway.
The problem though is that when this pattern of quitting on yourself becomes ingrained, it erodes our belief in ourselves.
We start to believe we CAN’T do the things we dream of.
That we’re not GOOD ENOUGH.
That it’s pointless to EVEN TRY.
That we can NEVER DO HARD THINGS.
What we just DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.
If so, you’re not alone.
Most of us struggle with this in one way or another.
Listen for more.